i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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