Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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