R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel great
I just peed on a car
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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