In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
