then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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