So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize