hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
