So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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