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Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
