I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
