I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
