I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize