she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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