you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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