the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
