matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
