I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
