she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
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it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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