How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
