I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
