Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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