Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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