So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
