I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
