She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
