You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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