i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Drake has all the answers
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
