stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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