There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
