In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
