real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
