I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
