would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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