Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
