I want to make a zoo with you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
