she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
