its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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