you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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