My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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