My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
