I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
