yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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