Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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