the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
