I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize