my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
