I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have aggressive nipples.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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