Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
