I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
