from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
