Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
