he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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