I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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