best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
