Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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