Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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