you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
