There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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