You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
