bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize