she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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